List: How to Preserve a Sacred Artifact or How to Care for Women?

A helpful guide for the museum, the streets and everywhere in between.

“When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country. Women were sacred and looked upon with great honor.” — White House Chief of Staff, John Kelly.

1. Handle as little as possible — when given permission, use clean, dry, lotion-free hands.

2. Assume they are extremely fragile, even if they do not appear so.

3. Move them one at a time. Do not stack together.

4. Keep aware of environmental factors that can cause long-term damage.

5. Turn off the lights as much as possible.

6. Periodically return them to storage to rest.

7. Apply sticky traps to monitor what kinds of pests are getting in and in what numbers.

8. If contaminated, place in isolation immediately.

9. Pause, take time, listen.

10. Drape in a cover made from cotton muslin.

11. Keep out of reach by using appropriate barriers.

12. Have a written disaster plan so you know what needs to be done when disaster strikes.

Sacred Artifact: 2, 7, 8, 10, 11

Women: 9

Both: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 12

Brooklyn-based writer raised in the Connecticut suburbs. Words at Slate, Washington Post, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency /