#TBT 6 Other Items to Clog the Toilet That Are Not Sanitary Napkins

You are more than the feminine hygiene products they blame you for

Hate that you’re constantly getting blamed for wrecking the plumbing with your tampons and sanitary napkins? Don’t let an accusatory, Word Art poster in the women’s bathroom reduce you to a tired stereotype.

It’s 2017 and NEWS FLASH: Not all women use their feminine hygiene products to clog the toilet. Some of us are clogging toilets with our Teenie Beanie Babies collection, for example. Here are some other inventive items you can use to clog the toilet and help reclaim your toilet identity!

1. A 44-disc box set of the complete Frasier series. If you’re afraid you’re coming off as too relatable to your coworkers, this is a good time to let them know you’re secretly a highbrow snob who likes sherry.

Clog dance!

2. Student loan delinquency letters. Bonus: If you can flush the papers down, your debt is forgiven. No one ever talks about this financial hack but more people should. The only reason so many women are still in debt is because potty talk and finances are taboo. No more. I break my silence.

3. A blanket. If people want to call you a wet blanket, let them. Take control of your narrative by clogging the toilet with a…blanket. Because nothing says “good-time, gal” like symbolism that requires you to stare down the barrel of a toilet bowl.

Good 4 clogging!

4. A bag of beach pebbles you collected on your vacation to Cape Cod! Drop them in the bowl slowly, one by one, while loudly whispering, “The sea is angry today” and you will never have to make small talk with anyone in your office ever again!

Just a few pebbles waiting for their destiny: tha toilet!

5. A deck of cards with the Ace of Spades removed. Whoever takes the time to sift through your toilet water deck and notices the missing card, is a fellow weirdo and also an ACDC fan! Now you two can become office besties!

6. Breadcrumbs. Who is crazy enough to create a trail of breadcrumbs leading down a dark hole? You are! Do this if you constantly overshare with your coworkers and want them to know a woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets, there are still mysteries yet to solve…

Ali Kelley is a writer living in Brooklyn. She is secretly a highbrow snob who likes sherry. Read more on aliskelley.com.

Brooklyn-based writer raised in the Connecticut suburbs. Words at Slate, Washington Post, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency / https://alikelley.com/