Valentine’s Day Wishes from Your Favorite Suburban Chain Restaurants

Endless love and breadsticks

Romano’s Macaroni Grill

Everybody loves Ray Romano’s Macaroni Grill and I love you.

Olive Garden

Olive you forever!

Applebee’s

Will you apple bee my valentine?

Carrabba’s

You’re the caROBIN to my Batman.

Ruth’s Chris Steak House

Jesus chris, you are the best and that’s the ‘ruth!

Red Lobster

Lobsters are red, violets are blue, I’d love to share this Admiral’s Feast with you.

P.F. Chang’s

Never chang. You are perfect just the way you are.

Cheesecake Factory

Our love isn’t factory-made.

Outback Steakhouse

My heart blooms onion time you’re near.

Red Robin

Robin’s are red, violets are blue, I’ve paid this tableside magician to make a balloon animal for you.

Golden Corral

My feelings for you cannot be corralled.

Rainforest Café

You’re one of a kind, like the endangered Hyacinth Macaw!

Ali Kelley wants that last breadstick. More at: www.aliskelley.com

Brooklyn-based writer raised in the Connecticut suburbs. Words at Slate, Washington Post, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency / https://alikelley.com/

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